Tag Archives: domme

CBT (Cock & Ball Torture) Tips and Advice (Please contribute yours!)

I’ve been getting a lot of requests for info on being a new top/domme, so I want to do more information sharing. I’m still a fairly new domme myself, and I’m always looking for tips and advice from more experienced tops/dominants, so I am looking for your advice as well. Here are a few things I’ve learned, and I welcome your thoughts in the comments.

Some balls are super sensitive. Like, you touch them and the person faints. With those genitals, you must be very gentle and CBT will probably require only light touches to inflict discomfort. However, some balls are a lot tougher than we realize and those people can handle (and possibly even enjoy?) a VERY tight squeeze. With sharp fingernails. Or metal claws. (Muahahahaha.)

The only way to know how much you can squeeze someone’s balls is to try it. (Evil grin, rubs hands together) As in, ask the bottom and then gradually increase the pressure until they reach whatever limit they have set.

Why do I enjoy CBT? I’m a sadist, for one. But it’s also because sometimes asshole type men really piss me off, and I like to relieve some of that frustration by bringing a grown man to his knees just by squeezing my dainty little fingers. After a lifetime of being told I must always bow to masculinity because I was feminine and God said so, I like turning the tables. After being harassed and assaulted by men, now I can bring a man to his knees and be the one calling the shots.

I really need to order metal claws though because fingernails just aren’t mean enough… And electricity. Ooooooooh electricity with metal claws on balls would be SO much fun.

Most of my experience has been with squeezing and punishing balls. I have no personal interest in Sounding (cool for you, but it squicks me out!) and I haven’t done much cock torture other than slapping and squeezing.

Dominance and Intimidating Masculine Types

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Society does not always respond very well to dominant women. We are often seen as rude, bossy, unnatural, or a challenge to be put back in our “rightful place”. I loved being in a military cadet program in high school because it was the one place where my dominant side was applauded and nurtured instead of squashed. But even there, I was still usually under the authority of men who outranked me.

When I became more dominant and confident in my opinions and attitudes, people from my religious past called me hateful, rude, and inappropriate. We were raised to be sweet and accommodating, and to only ruffle feathers when we were promoting the church’s ideas (which were usually decided by men). Basically the message we got was “don’t think for yourself, just channel your passion into roles that WE set out for you.” One man told me that I could disagree with him but only if my opinions didn’t contradict scripture. And who decided what contradicted scripture? We both knew he felt that was his job.

I eventually called bullshit. Ohmigod how horrible, a woman who thinks for herself and won’t do as she’s told! (gasp) THE WORLD IS ENDING! GRAB YOUR DICKS, THE DOMINANT WOMEN ARE COMING TO DESTROY YOUR MASCULINITY!

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Being a dominant woman means my dating pool has shrunk greatly. Many mainstream men are intimidated by me now, and not in a submissive way but more of a “your dominance makes me insecure in my masculinity so the problem must be with you!” kind of way, and that’s not a good fit for anyone in a relationship. And many of the men who are interested in my dominance are interested in it as a fetish, because of what they want from me sexually or emotionally. That’s fine in some contexts, such as my pro domme work, but it’s not really what I want in a loving dating relationship. I’m a person with needs and desires of my own, not just a kink goddess that will service their fetishes.

Not only must I look for emotional maturity, reliability and good chemistry, but now I must also look for partners who are not turned off by the fact that I may be more dominant as a femme than they are as a masculine type. Instead of letting a man always lead and teach like I was raised, I’m not afraid to jump in and take the reigns myself. Not everyone is cool with that.

Fortunately in the kink community there are many awesome masculine types who love my dominance without overly focusing on it as a fetish. It’s one of the many reasons why I don’t bother with vanilla dating anymore; it would take so much work to become compatible with a vanilla guy that it doesn’t seem worthwhile for me in most cases.

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As with most of my writings, this may easily apply to people of other genders not mentioned here.

Punishing a Sissy Bitch

He sat on the ground in front of me, naked, his head bowed in submission. His hands and feet were shackled in leather cuffs, and a dog chain hung from his leather collar. His cock was dripping in anticipation of the torture yet to come.

“May I worship your feet, Mistress Laura? You have such beautiful feet.”

I smiled and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at me. “Only if you beg for it, my little bitch. And not until I’ve thoroughly punished you first. Foot worship must be earned.”

I pulled him up to a standing position, directing him to lean over a chair so his ass was in full view. I made him wait while I took my time selecting my instruments of torture, finally settling on a thin wooden paddle with a nasty sting.

“Are you going to be a good slut for me today?” Whack “Because I have lots of punishments lined up for you if you aren’t.” Whack “I can do this all day if I feel that your attitude needs more adjusting.” Whack

“Mistress Laura I’ll be a good slut for you. I live to please you. I want to OW! please you with my OW! pain. Please use me as OW! your OW! toy.” He yelped again as I grabbed his balls and squeezed hard.

“On a scale of one to ten, how much pain was that one, my little slut?”

His legs were shaking, but he managed to squeak out an answer. “It’s about a 9, Mistress Laura. I love it when you hurt me.”

I giggled sadistically. “Oh good! You’re going to love my next toy, then. It’s extra stingy.” He looked scared and excited all at once; my favorite response.

I walked over to my wall of toys and selected a silicone paddle. “This one stings like a motherfucker. Nasty little whores get the extra hurty ones. Tell me how much you want me to beat you with this.” I leaned over him, brushing my corset over his bare back and letting the paddle sit on his left butt cheek. “Oh please Mistress Laura I want to try the paddle OWWW!”

I smiled maliciously. “Oh, that was delicious. Shall I hit you again?” Whack “Yes ple-OW!” Whack whack whack whack

After a few more beatings, I pulled out one of my favourite toys- a long strip of white elastic designed for sewing into waistbands. I love it because I can wrap it around almost any body part and snap it as hard as I want. It’s like a huge rubber band, but much more versatile. “I think it’s time for my little bitch to get some lovely red welts. Don’t you agree?” He nodded as I stuffed a ball gag in his mouth. I wrapped the elastic around his thigh, holding the two ends in my left hand and snapping it hard with my right. He squirmed and yelped as I snapped it, leaving red welts in a horizontal pattern. “Had enough yet, slut?” He shook his head. I laughed and switched to his other thigh, this time focusing on the tender inner parts. His balls had been neglected too long so I gave those a few more squeezes too, causing his legs to shake and shudder again with pain.

Then I removed his gag and pulled out my other favourite toy- a slingshot and gummy candies. I instructed him to stand on the other side of the room with his hands on a piece of furniture. “Ready to be my target practice, bitch?” He nodded excitedly. “Yes Mistress Laura, I want to be your target practice so bad! Please shoot me with your slingshot!” Pulling back the slingshot with a gummy bear inside, I yelled “Fire in the hold!” I watched his butt cheek jiggle as the gummy candy hit it. It was very amusing, so I shot another one at his other cheek. “This is so much fun! I’m going to try a few more and give you some polka dots.” Red spots started to appear where the gummies had hit.

Once my arm was tired out from all the beatings and target practice, I let out a big sigh of satisfaction and sat down on my chair, instructing him to kneel in front of me. I stroked his hair and smiled. “Now you may worship my feet, my little sissy bitch. You’ve earned it.”

(This is a story based on my many real sessions with awesome Pro Domme clients. Not based on any client in particular.)

Why I Love Anal Training

There’s just something about shoving large toys in a big guy’s ass that’s so much fun. It’s also fun with people of other genders too, but I particularly like doing it with cis men. I think anal training and CBT with cis men is becoming a fetish for me.

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It makes me feel powerful.

I’ve had countless negative experiences with cis men who have pushed or broken my boundaries, or generally made me feel uncomfortable around them. Being in a position of power over them, and doing something to them that makes them so incredibly vulnerable with me, is really fun. I call the shots; I control their pleasure or lack thereof. I still enjoy this power dynamic with people of other genders, but it’s especially meaningful for me when dealing with cis men. It’s like I’m regaining my confidence and learning to stand my ground against the very demographic that has caused me the most fear and self-doubt. Shoving things up their ass while squeezing their balls and calling them a sissy bitch is rather therapeutic, in a twisted maniacal way. ; )

I like kinky science experiments.

And what could be more interesting that testing someone’s limits with what they can take up their ass? Especially men that usually like to call the shots and be in control? I’ll be the scientist today… you can be my guinea pig. Hehehehe.

I like strap-ons.

Seriously, what’s hotter than a petite femme getting to wear a massive silicone dick and mercilessly pound a tough guy’s butt with it? Not much.

It gives me an opportunity to practice being a good domme.

Doing anal play with someone who has a ‘virgin’ asshole is a big responsibility. I have to not only concern myself with consent and safety issues, and potential cleaning issues, but I must also make sure that I take things slow enough so they have a good time and don’t get hurt in ways they don’t want. I do want to push them out of their comfort zones, but only as far as they’ve agreed to go. Watching body language and listening for barely-audible safewords is vital, as is checking in with them after the scene to make sure they are ok with the pace and intensity that was used. Anal play is not just about the domme’s power lust, as much as I enjoy that part. It’s more important to ensure that the bottom (pun intended) also has a good time, and above all that their consent is respected at all times. Doing intense anal training forces me to stay on top of these things so I’m always prepared to be a safe, consent-minded play partner.

Can you handle this dick? I doubt it.

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Sometimes Dommes Want to Submit Too.

I’ve noticed that people (mostly men) seem to respect me more now that I present myself as a domme and not as a switch. As a switch, I would get messages from (again mostly men) latching onto that one tiny mention of my potential submission. That, to them, seemed to be an indicator of ‘weakness’ that they could exploit. But now that I present myself as a domme, there is no wiggle-room in there for most men to try to take advantage of me anymore. And as a domme, a bitchy reply is almost expected, so I feel more confident being blunt when they are acting inappropriately or asking me for sexual attention or discussion that I have no desire to give them. And unsolicited advice about my appearance or interests? They don’t stand a chance anymore. What would be deemed rude from a submissive is expected from a domme.

But, I still crave submission. Not to random people, but with people I know and trust. It’s something I don’t do much of anymore, but it’s always in my fantasies.

Submitting as a domme is not easy. Not only do I have to find people that I am comfortable enough to submit to, but they have to be on what I would consider equal standing with me as a dominant. I can’t submit to someone if I feel that they don’t know what they’re doing. It’s not a judgment about their abilities or lack of experience, but a matter of comfort and ability to let myself go. I know how much responsibility is involved for tops, especially when a power dynamic is involved, so giving that control away to someone else is extremely hard for me now. And even if I do trust them, I then must have the right chemistry with them as a person and with their play style.

Finding a dominant as a domme is difficult to say the least. But, I no longer feel that I need to be actively submissive to be fulfilled as a person. I will always be looking for it on some level, and I’ll always fantasize about it, but I’d rather be patient and wait for the right situation than try to force a connection just to ‘scratch an itch’.

In the meantime, I’ll practice my skills on the other end of the dominance spectrum, and occasionally let very close friends top me. Therapy paddling is fun now and then.

My Kink Bucket List

I may update this if I’m able to live out some of these fantasies or when I think of more kinky shit I want to do. Enjoy.

  • Be worshiped as a goddess by many subs at once, all on leashes, bowing at my feet begging for a beating. I may agree to beat one or two of them, if they beg hard enough and serve me well.
  • Have a line of subs lined up for me and other dommes to fuck their asses with strap-ons.
  • To have a blue and black stunt violin and bow specifically for my kink musical scenes.
  • To learn to dance like Lindsey Stirling, and then do an erotic kinky violin dance in fetish-wear.
  • Learn to dance, then choreograph a dance with a submissive showing kink power dynamics in a sensual, beautiful, artistic way.
  • Play violin while suspended upside down in rope or dangling from silk scarves.
  • I want a domme throne. A fucking massive chair with velvet and carved wood and all that fancy shit.
  • To wrestle with a primal wolf and win.
  • To be the consensual ‘victim’ of a gangbang where I’m treated as an object.
  • To be brutally ravished outside up against a tree late at night in a consensual-non-consent scenario.
  • Get a kink-themed tattoo.
  • A Star Wars themed dungeon complete with Lightsaber floggers and a Sith domme outfit. The Darth Vader theme song would play as my majestic domme highness entered the room to begin the beating.