Sometimes Dommes Want to Submit Too.

I’ve noticed that people (mostly men) seem to respect me more now that I present myself as a domme and not as a switch. As a switch, I would get messages from (again mostly men) latching onto that one tiny mention of my potential submission. That, to them, seemed to be an indicator of ‘weakness’ that they could exploit. But now that I present myself as a domme, there is no wiggle-room in there for most men to try to take advantage of me anymore. And as a domme, a bitchy reply is almost expected, so I feel more confident being blunt when they are acting inappropriately or asking me for sexual attention or discussion that I have no desire to give them. And unsolicited advice about my appearance or interests? They don’t stand a chance anymore. What would be deemed rude from a submissive is expected from a domme.

But, I still crave submission. Not to random people, but with people I know and trust. It’s something I don’t do much of anymore, but it’s always in my fantasies.

Submitting as a domme is not easy. Not only do I have to find people that I am comfortable enough to submit to, but they have to be on what I would consider equal standing with me as a dominant. I can’t submit to someone if I feel that they don’t know what they’re doing. It’s not a judgment about their abilities or lack of experience, but a matter of comfort and ability to let myself go. I know how much responsibility is involved for tops, especially when a power dynamic is involved, so giving that control away to someone else is extremely hard for me now. And even if I do trust them, I then must have the right chemistry with them as a person and with their play style.

Finding a dominant as a domme is difficult to say the least. But, I no longer feel that I need to be actively submissive to be fulfilled as a person. I will always be looking for it on some level, and I’ll always fantasize about it, but I’d rather be patient and wait for the right situation than try to force a connection just to ‘scratch an itch’.

In the meantime, I’ll practice my skills on the other end of the dominance spectrum, and occasionally let very close friends top me. Therapy paddling is fun now and then.

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