BDSM Communities Are Less Rapey Than the General Population

BDSM Communities Are Less Rapey Than the General Population

YES. This has been my overwhelming experience since I’ve become involved in BDSM. There is such a strong focus on safety and consent that it surprises me to watch mainstream dating practices and how rapey they so often are. I never hear consent talked about as much as I do in my BDSM circles, and it makes a big difference in how we interact with each other. I feel safer in a BDSM dungeon with whips and chains than I would at a mainstream dance club.

When we embrace sex and other parts of ourselves in a healthy, safe way that involves accountability, it leads to positive results. Pressuring people to hide their true natures often results in frustrated, unhealthy expressions of violence and assault. We need to talk about how to engage in sexual (and non-sexual) activities consensually and safely, without shaming people for it, and we also need to teach people that they can explore unconventional interests without assaulting others.

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